Bakewell Tart Bludgeoning by Steve Higgs: Albert Smith’s Culinary Capers Recipe 2
English | 2020 | Mystery & Thriller | ePUB | 2.8 MB
He lives in the south-east corner of England with a trio of lazy sausage dogs. Surrounded by rolling hills, brooding castles and vineyards, he doubts he will ever leave, the beer is just too good.
On a culinary tour of the British Isles, retired Detective Superintendent Albert Smith and snarky former police dog Rex Harrison find something quite unexpected waiting for them at their B&B …
… it’s the almost-dead body of their landlady.
Refusing to believe in coincidence, Albert and Rex set out to discover why her ‘accident’ is the second terrible event there in two days. Something is stirring in Bakewell and it’s not the ingredients for a famous tart.
In trouble faster than a souffle can fall, the duo must work fast before anyone else has an accident. But the landlady’s twin sister is hiding a secret, Albert keeps calling it a tart when it’s a pudding, and their taxi driver, Asim, appears to use a language all of his own.
With Rex’s nose working overtime, you can be sure they’ll track down the bad guys responsible. Unfortunately, that might be when the real trouble begins.
Baking. It can get a guy killed.
Getting both men and Rex into the car was a trick as Asim’s ride didn’t have back doors. Rex went in first with Randall next to him. Albert got in the front but the lack of boot space – it was small anyway and what there was had been filled with speakers – meant the passengers had to hold their bags on their laps.
Rex held his lead in his mouth just so he felt like he was helping.
‘Can we keep the music off, please?’ asked Albert as Asim closed first Albert’s door and then his own.
‘Of course, bruv,’ Asim smiled. ‘Whatever you say.’ The car had been refitted with a push-start button on which the word ‘Launch’ was written. The young man stabbed it with his left index finger, released the handbrake and made to stomp on the gas pedal. Randall’s firm hand on his shoulder stopped the car from taking off like a startled horse.
‘A sedate ride, if you please, Asim,’ insisted Randall from the back seat.
‘But I’ve got street cred to protect, man. Everyone knows I own the road. Me and the street beast, innit.’ Randall narrowed his eyes. Asim, looking over his shoulder, sighed. ‘Okay. Sedate it is. Not exactly going to be an exciting fifteen-minute journey, bruv.’
Asim selected first gear and cruised away from the kerb. Driving his car as if it were a limousine carrying royalty, he eased along the country roads, getting nods of approval from the policeman sitting three feet behind.
Albert smiled to himself and glanced at his dog to make sure he was doing okay. Rex panted and gave up trying to get comfortable. The seats were too narrow for him to lie down and he felt awkward and off balance sitting up. If the other human next to him didn’t have a bag on his lap, Rex would have spread himself across the seat and the man. Instead, he hoped the journey wasn’t a long one; he preferred walking.
The Derbyshire countryside was beautiful; lush green hills and plenty of woodland to see as they rode up and down contours on their way to Bakewell. The Pennines were here somewhere but that was about the extent of Albert’s geographical knowledge. He could be on them now for all he knew.
‘It’s not far now,’ Asim announced. ‘I’ve gone around to come in the back end of the town. There was some kind of accident earlier. I think someone got run down, but it should be clear now.’
As they neared their destination, it became obvious that it was not clear. A barrier stretched across the road with a bored-looking female police officer directing traffic to turn around. Beyond her were several police cars, a fire engine, two ambulances, and a mobile crane.