Four Beheadings and a Funeral by Eric Ugland

Four Beheadings and a Funeral

Four Beheadings and a Funeral by Eric Ugland (The Good Guys #9)
English | 2020 | Fantasy | ePUB | 2.8 MB

Eric ran away from Seattle to join the circus. And then he came to his senses, and moved to Manhattan. Now he’s a novelist in Los Angeles. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make sense to him either.

Four Beheadings and a Funeral (#9)
We join Montana, recently returned from an impromptu study abroad trip, a bit wiser, a bit broader in perspective, and a lot freaked out by the once-dead person who’s currently in his bedroom.

Possible zombie sightings aside, he’s finally ready to take his job as Duke seriously. And just in time too — not only are the politics of the capital rapidly closing in on Montana’s little valley holding, but there are also goblins to negotiate with. Plus, that cult threatening to take the lives of his citizens. Montana will have to pull off the impossible – walk amongst the highest levels of Vuldranni society to influence world politics, and slaughter a few goblins in the process.

I’d been putting something off for a while. 

Loot.

I’d gathered up plenty of it over the past few weeks of quests and adventures, and it was high time to empty out the unfillable knapsack and see what I had. If for no other reason than to make sure there were enough weapons for me to pull. 

That meant walking all the way back up to my apartment in the sky, getting the bag, and then bringing it down to the throne room. I figured Emeline and Nikolai would work things out about the Master soon enough, and I’d be nearby if I needed to intercede for any reason. I also summoned some prinkies, and I had them carry down all the various chests that were around my room. The things I’d taken out of the bag and not put back. And the things that I was worried about putting in the bag, because I wasn’t really sure if you could put a bag of holding in a bag of holding. That seemed to be breaking a cosmic law of some sort, and I really didn’t want to see if I was able to regenerate after being compressed in a black hole or sucked out to some other dimension.

But first, Loot.

I turned the bag over, and I uttered that mystical word: “Empty.”

The bag emptied.

I had a problem.

I’d taken so much random shit, it was starting to feel like I was a kleptomaniac. And now I had to sort it all out. There were heaps of gold and silver coins from the Mountain Kings home. Not to mention candle sticks, serving dishes, and other precious metal versions of basic cutlery. The Mountain Kings pile was really cool on the one hand, and, on the other, just more metal we’d be melting down to make imperial coinage.

I sighed. 

Then, I went on to the four chests from the glaumdrang pool. Three little ones, and one big one. I decided to go little to big. The first chest was golden, with small red details. I tried to see if they made a picture of some kind, but it appeared to be just random shapes and swirls. Pretty, but without meaning. There were no hinges, and I couldn’t find a spot for a key. Feeling around the edge, though, I found a very small button. 

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