No Country for Old Gnomes by Delilah S. Dawson, Kevin Hearne (The Tales of Pell #2)
English | 2019 | Fantasy| ePUB | 5.4 Mb
No Country for Old Gnomes :Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy return to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett.
The Skyr is a rich, verdant land claimed by both halflings and gnomes. For centuries, the halflings have worked to undermine gnomish power structures and seize total control–through legal means, certainly, but more insidiously through their extensive organized crime network. Now, threatened with being pushed out entirely, the gnomes are desperate and ready to fight back. Gustave the Goat King faces his first test as a leader: Can he bring peace to a fraught region or will a civil war consume the entire kingdom?
“That’s gaslighting, that is!” the first witch shouted. “You pretending like there’s no problem when there’s obviously a problem and then downplaying or diminishing our feelings, all to throw us off the scent of your unexplained and honestly alarming abundance of blood.”
“Barely a thimbleful,” the third witch said, dropping her first, far-smaller bucket into her second, enormous bloodstained bucket with a clang.
“I don’t think I like Girls’ Night Out anymore,” the second witch whined. “We could’ve stayed in with a bottle of Moscato and read the saucy bits of an anatomy book out loud in funny voices.”
“What’s done is done,” the third witch said, but she grinned in a way that reminded the other witches of sharks and used-broom salesmen. When the third witch realized the other two were staring at her, she straightened and plastered a polite smile on her face. “So, when shall we three meet again?”
“Uh, I’m busy,” the first witch said.
“Yeah. My cat’s sick,” the second witch added.
“Er, all of them. For the foreseeable future.”
The silence grew very uncomfortable.
“Fine. Bye, witches,” the third witch said, swinging her blood bucket as she sauntered out of the cave.
“Where’d we find her again?” the second witch whispered to the first witch.”